Roger's Sweet Revenge
by catwoman981
Summary: High school RENT. After four popular girls play a mean prank on Mark, Roger's plans a sweet payback! Bad summary.
1. The Prank

**A/N: No one get too personal...this is just a FunFic!!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own RENT or this Malcolm in the Middle episode**

**Ch. One: The Prank**

"Mark!" Roger called from outside, banging on the Cohen's front door. "Markie! Let me in!"

Mark came down all dressed in a botton-up, long sleeve shirt and pocket pants when he heard Roger banging on the door.

"Mark, please! Let me in!" Roger asked again.

Mark laughed and put his ear by the door.

"Not by the hair on my chinny chin chin," Mark whispered.

Roger sighed and laughed.

"That is...if you _had_ hair on your chinny chin chin!" Roger teased.

Mark frowned and opened the door. Roger's eyes almost popped out of his head.

"Man, Mark Vincent Cohen, you look _very_ nice. Gotta date?" Roger asked.

"Sure do, man. Her name is Jennifer," Mark said.

"Sounds hot," Roger said.

Roger walked in and helped himself into Mark's kitchen. He grabbed the milk carton and drank out of it.

"Hey, you know that's why my mom doesn't like you coming over here, you pig," Mark told, watching Roger drink out of the milk carton.

Roger stopped and wiping the milk from his upper lip.

"I wish I had enough food in my house to be a pig. You forget my parents are always too drunk to go get food...or _jobs_," Roger said.

As Roger continued to drink the milk, the phone rang. Roger, seeing the phone on the counter, grabbed it.

"Cohen residents, this is Roger speaking..." Roger said and listened for a moment, "It's a Jennifer for a Mr. Mark Cohen, the radient an squire!"

Mark grabbed the phone with a smirk. "Don't flatter yourself". Mark put the receiver to his ear.

"Hey, baby!" Mark said, smiling. "No, I'm great. I can't wait to see you...No I can't wait to _you_ more...no, you more. You're here?...that's great! Be right out!"

Mark joyfully handed the phone to his bad boy pal.

"Mr. Mark Unlucky-in-love, finally has a date," Roger teased.

"Shut up!" Mark teased back, putting on his jean jacket.

"Hey, my old man kicked me out tonight. Can I shack here for the night?" Roger asked.

"Yeah, sure. Just don't let my mom catch you drinking or eating something you shouldn't...otherwise she won't let come over here anymore," Mark warned.

"Yeah, yeah, I hear ya...now go and _try_ to have fun. I hate seeing you miserable all the time!" Roger said, patting Mark on the back.

"Thanks, Rog...I'll try," Mark agreed.

Finally, the door bell rang. Mark grabbed his flowers for Jennifer (red roses!) and nervously opened the door and-

_Oyk! Oyk! Oyk! Oyk! Oyk!!!_

Mark looked down to see...a pig. It was wearing a collar that said Jennifer. It had lipstick and a heart balloon tied to it's waist that said _I love you Mark_.

There were four girls laughing and taking pictures: Mimi Marquez, Maureen Johnson, Joanne Jefferson and April Erickson.

Roger came out and was disgusted by what he saw. Mark was crying.

"Get the fuck out of here!" Roger yelled, signaling them to leave with his hand.

"Good night sucker!" Mimi yelled.

The girls all took off, laughing and hopped into Maureen's sports car and drove off.

Mark dropped his flowers and ran into the house. Roger shut the door.

"Mark! Come back!" Roger called, watching Mark run up the stairs.

Roger followed Mark, and Mark shut his bedroom door in Roger's face.

"Mark! Open the door!" Roger asked, banging on the door.

"Go away!" Mark cried, hiding his face in his pillow, tears falling down his face.

"It'll be okay! We'll tell the principle! I promise!" Roger told.

"I'm never coming out! Not _ever_ again! EVER!" Mark cried.

* * *

"It's NOT funny!" Roger yelled at Principle Madden.

Principle put his hand on his face.

"I know...it's not funny! Not funny one bit!" Principle Madden said, but bit his lip, trying not laugh.

"Those retarded girls ruined Mark's life. Do something!" Roger demanded.

The principle giggled, "They put lipstick on the pig? _Lipstick_? You gotta admitt that's genius."

"That's not genius...that's cruel! And you're no help!" Roger yelled.

Roger furiously got out of his seat and grabbed the door knob.

"If you won't make things right...than I _will_..." Roger warned.

Roger left and the principle let out a huge laugh...

* * *

Roger walked down the hallways and was stopped by Mimi Marquez.

"Hey, Roger...vote for Homecoming King and Queen..." Mimi said, handing Roger a flyer.

It had a picture of Mark and the pig and it said _Vote for Homecoming King and Pig._

Roger crippled the paper in his one hand, dropped it and stormed off. This was taken too far.

_I'll make them pay...I swear it! _Roger thought, leaving the school.


	2. The First Victim

**The First Victim: Maureen Johnson**

Roger walked into Mark's room. Mark was laying there, tears dripping down his face, his face shivering. He so was heartbroken. Roger's half-sister, Raelynn, came with him. Raelynn, who was half Filipino (Roger is _not_), had crush on Mark. She was a freshman, while Roger and Mark were sophomores.

"Mark...hey, how are you?" Roger asked.

"My...my...my....my....my....god...." that was all Mark could say.

"He's really bad," Raelynn said.

"I'm gonna fuck those bitches," Roger said, angerly.

Raelynn looked at her brother.

"I thought you were going to get _revenge_?" Raelynn asked.

"That too..." Roger smiled. "That too..."

Roger ran out of the room, leaving Mark and Raelynn alone.

"Are you hungry?" Raelynn asked.

Mark just shook his head. Raelynn noticed a picture of Maureen on Mark's wall.

"You still like Maureen?" Raelynn asked.

Mark nodded his head. Mark had had a crush on Maureen since sixth grade.

"Ok..." Raelynn sighed.

* * *

Roger reached campus to see Maureen park her motorcycle. He was hiding in the bushes, seeing through binoculars.

_"Why does she ride that stupid, over-sized bike?"_ Roger thought. _"She got like...five cars."_

He watched Maureen take off her helmet and flipped her hair around.

_"You love that hair don't you, baby?"_ Roger asked himself.

Maureen continued to fix her hair until her chica, Mimi came over.

"Hey, baby! _Love_ that new outfit!" Mimi exclaimed.

"New outfit? Don't you just love my new _highlights_?" Maureen asked, fixing her hair some more.

"B-E-A-utiful!" Mimi laughed.

The girls giggled and walked off to go get some Starbucks.

Roger reached into his bag and pulled out a paint bucket with the colors blue, orange, yellow and pink

When school was over, Maureen returned to her motorcycle. She grabbed her helmet, and out it on her head-

"AHHHHH!!!" Maureen shouted, feeling her hair gooey, sticky and wet.

Everyone came running and some started to laugh, especially Roger in the bushes.

"MY HAIR!! MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR!!! IS...RUINED!! AHHHH!" Maureen shouted and ran into the school.

Mimi, April and Joanne went running in after her.

Roger left, feeling proud of himself.

* * *

Roger returned to Mark's room. Mark had not moved one bit.

"I got one, Mark! I got one!" Roger cheered.

Suddenly, Roger's phone rang-

"Hello?" Roger asked.

"Roger? It's Raelynn," his sister said.

"What's up?" Roger asked.

"Maureen Johnson is...bald," Raelynn told.

"_Bald_?" Roger said, knowing what he did, and was even more proud.

"They had to shave her head because _someone_ put _permanent_ paint in her helmet..."Raelynn said.

"Oh...is that so..." Roger almost started to laugh, but held his cool.

Raelynn was silent for a few seconds.

"Yeah...don't you think you're taking this a bit...far?" Raelynn asked.

"Hell, no! I've got **three** more to go!"

**TBC..._Please_ review!!!**


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